Who enables the narcissist?
Since narcissists can’t exist in a vacuum, there are enablers. These are individuals who are in support of the narcissists, defend them, fight for them, the individuals they recruit on their side. These individuals are usually called “flying monkeys” however, there are other kinds of enablers too.
These are individuals who are likely not to be in support of the narcissists but can entertain their behavior.
Why individuals enable narcissists
These individuals normally have a positive motive. They frequently think they are helping but they are not. They are making the problem worse by reinforcing the narcissist’s behavior. They will do it more as long as the narcissist’s behavior works for them.
Enablers help create the problem
If one partner hits the other, the beaten individual doesn’t get out of the relationship or report to the police. They have made the batterer quite comfortable with his actions because there are no consequences. This behavior is likely to occur over and over again. This, however, doesn’t matter to the narcissists; they love chaos since it makes them feel good. Nothing can’t stop the narcissist from behaving in this manner. They aren’t losing anything and are still receiving the attention they need. There are no consequences. Whether individuals decide to believe that or not, the narcissist will still be enabled.
Helping and abetting narcissism
One shouldn’t entertain abusive behavior. Never! The only reason why individuals entertain abusive behavior is that they have brought up to believe that this is behavior is right. It is not. There is nowhere written you have to stay in a toxic and abusive relationship.
You might think there is something you are proving to the narcissists by staying in the relationship. You are. You are proving that these people can just treat you the way they want and you can just put up with it since they matter more than you do. You are trying to communicate that they don’t have to treat you better since you are not worth it. This is very unhealthy and overwhelming. This is exactly what the narcissists want to hear. Just to set yourself on fire to keep them warm. They don’t appreciate anything. Nothing you do or give will ever be enough.
When you help a narcissist, what do you get in return?
A lot of guilt is involved in a relationship with narcissists. It is like a relationship with an infant. Completely one-sided. The parent is the only one giving the infant attention while the infant reciprocates nothing.
The difference now comes when the infant is growing up. They now see themselves as independent beings and can take care of themselves. They will, in the end, have their parents back. Unfortunately, this doesn’t happen with narcissists, narcissists will need everything forever without considering other people.
The idea that enablers often have positive motives but inadvertently make the situation worse is a significant observation. It suggests that education and awareness are key in addressing these issues.
The comparison between a toxic relationship with a narcissist and setting oneself on fire to keep them warm is a powerful metaphor. It effectively conveys the destructive nature of such relationships.
The analogy of a relationship with a narcissist being like a one-sided relationship with an infant is an interesting perspective. It highlights the imbalance and lack of reciprocity in such interactions.
The concept of ‘flying monkeys’ in narcissistic relationships is quite intriguing. It sheds light on the dynamics of support systems that reinforce harmful behaviors.
The article raises an important point about the role of enablers in perpetuating narcissistic behavior. It’s crucial to understand how these dynamics contribute to the problem.